Julia Maria Keers

There was a vampire at my door
He liked to hold my hand and sing
And we could talk about everything
So I invited this familiar stranger in

There was a vampire at my door
He always stared at me straight
He smelled like hot coffee with rain
And gave big kisses in the hallway

There was a vampire at my door
Shining in his father’s black suit
He said an invisible string pulled him in
He didn’t age and always got his way

There was a vampire at my door
They all said he’s good shoes but bad news
But he nudged my ribs and I made funny faces
So I put on my high heels after ballet

There was a vampire at my door
I closed the attic to my Shoah darkened father
Drew the curtains on my fancy schmancy aunts
Threw the whole-catholic-clan-of-millionaire-uncles in the garden
He asked ‘Hey love, what’s up?’ I smiled ‘Not much’

There was a vampire at my door
He listened to my endless babbling
Sat next to me as I dropped on the museum floor
And he carried me when my feet were sore

There was a vampire at my door
We curled up in the same chair after a pillow fight
He laughed with my feet in his lap at night
And I used to love his overbite

There was a vampire at my door
And ambiguity was his middle name
He said he was born out of his time
An existential inbetweener not to blame

There was a vampire at my door
She is a beautiful elf, she is an evil witch
Never knew what was going to hit me
In the midst of his veiled tricks and tactics

There was a vampire at my door
“I really don’t want to hurt you” as a sudden comment
I looked up in surprise because I still had faith in us
But he knew himself, that was the problem

*

There was a vampire at my door
He was always waiting two steps ahead
Or right behind me cleaning up my mess
But never by my side in daylight

There was a vampire at my door
But somehow it never really seemed to end
The sticky webs of lies and deception
His endless invitations into dead ends

There was a vampire at my door
Never listened to a single word I said
Picked apart my carefully crafted narratives
She’s my cold war in today’s snide comments

There was a vampire at my door
To the arguing there was nøóÓöô end
It was WRONG no matter what I said
My neurons turned a smokey black

There was a vampire at my door
A thousand tiny cuts, hooks and wounds
Scorpion stings that burned feverishly in me
Verbal slaps in the face out of nowhere

There was a vampire at my door
And there were a lot of rules to follow
I should not have given him my sympathies
I conspired against him when I sneezed

There was a vampire at my door
People can’t even imagine me evil he smirked
I mumbled fuckboy while gulping down my pizza
He pricked his salad bowl pensively

There was a vampire on my door
Spoke to me with a forked snake tongue
Somehow hated to love me and loved to hate me
My cognitive dissonance was for his amusement

There was a vampire at my door
And all my friend looked like puzzled cats
I kept pushing him out and throwing daggers
But he always bounced right back

There was a vampire at my door
I said feeling like I wasn’t good enough
Wasn’t going to be good enough for me
But he refused to sign for peace

There was a vampire at my door
His friends showed me some of his texts
She’s a psycho girl with crazy eyes and an alcoholic
Getting stabbed in the back again

There was a vampire at my door
Somewhere along the way I lost my trust
They said girl, it’s his way or the highway
So I said goodbye and took my own forest path

*
There was a vampire at my door
He fancied getting on my nerves with snares
Mind games, sneaky traps and hacks
Meanwhile pretending to be innocent

There was a vampire at my door
And he always knew how to manipulate
Pretending to be nonchalant and happy
Keeping his graveyard shifts backstage

There was a vampire at my door
He smear campaigned behind my back
And tried to destroy my reputation
Convinced me I was completely mad

There was a vampire at my door
The things I have looked for but never found
In his smoke and mirror maze of twisted ways
Were stability and honesty

There was a vampire at my door
I don’t know why he was always cursing me
My boundaries just there to be breached
Doubling down when I said Count Me Out

There was a vampire at my door
He remembered everything I ever said
Every white lie and every clumsy step
Filed in a solid and detailed KGB track

There was a vampire at my door
He always knew my whereabouts somehow
So I learned how to cover my tracks
And I kept changing my passwords

There was a vampire at my door
He liked to hunt and chase me down
Attached to playing games with his prey
Always letting me down, not letting me get away

There was a vampire at my door
I brought flowers his fathers tomb to end the war
His dad said tell them that I miss our little talks
My dad said don’t bury the hatchet if he’s still an idiot

*

There was a vampire at my door
I shut my mouth but he kept stringing me along
Even after he shaped up and found his loved one
He kept holding on to his fury and his guns

There was a vampire at my door
Pretending to be a progressive Bumble Bee
Hearting my girlfriends while he already had one
But girls, girls, girls, in the plural they had to be

There was a vampire at my door
Sucking me dry because he had to feed
On my pain, my emotions, my empathy
Getting restless when my skin didn’t bleed

There was a vampire at my door
With a sweep turning all the tables on me
It often looked like he just enjoyed being mean
But he denied all of this to the police

There was a vampire at my door
I asked him why he acted so shamelessly
In never treating me with any respect or empathy
I’m not a puppet, i’m a human being

There was a vampire at my door
For years I got bitten, bruised and bullied
In a way that was all quite subtle and airily
Never in the wrong just casually warping reality

There was a vampire at my door
Always playing the same old tiresome game
Forever stuck in his compulsive Groundhog days
Like he revelled in being destructive

There was a vampire at my door
Bullying me out of town and putting the shade in shady
I got sick being stuck in a duplicitous reality
My dad behind his newspaper in the garden giving a sigh

*

There was a vampire at my door
My dad said your uncles bought the family paintings back
I felt my heart warming in my chest
But my blood turned cold at the sight of the Israeli flag

There was a vampire at my door
I never received any sincere apologies
When I was in so much pain tears flooded my face
Or had to deal with his sadistic streak

There was a vampire at my door
Pretending to be apologetic and putting up a show
Singing sad songs about how it all went wrong
But never saving me from the undertow

There was a vampire at my door
I said this is the last time we will ever speak
I’m staying out of The Dark Triad, Thanks
But I ended up at the police

There was a vampire at my door
My friends asked him to accept my choices again
But the harassment never seemed to end
So I sharpened my blade while everybody slept

There was a vampire at my door
I don’t really know what he was vamping for
Carrying knives to school since the age of nine
Marking me as his enemy and sipping my blood like red wine
Never facing the consequences, not knowing wrong from right
Becoming more obnoxious and malicious
Racing his cars angrily and using me for a shot of dopamine
And me providing the supply, making the undead feel alive
So I shoved a dagger in his heart, because I will not be mistreated

And I crashed right through the glass into the current of the city
Making drinks for my new friends, bumping into every dancing body and having endless conversations
As I got up in the hallway of the cool white lamps
And washed the blood from my hands

I breathed the crisp cold air as life stretched out before me