There was a vampire on my porch
Two full lips with a slight overbite
But he sounded perfectly British
And he gave the cheekiest smile
There was a vampire on my porch
His eyes an Egyptian ocean blue
He said he grew up with the blues
Smelling like rain and sandalwood
There was a vampire on my porch
Standing tall in his fancy black coat
As he explained Israel’s entire history
I remember thinking goddamn here we go
There was a vampire on my porch
He said you never have to see me again
But we could talk about everything
So I invited this familiar stranger in
There was a vampire on my porch
I warned him I could be sensitive
He said girl, I can work with that
While tracing his fingers on my lips
There was a vampire on my porch
He said somehow I really like your vibe
You don’t seem woke or fast asleep
What I need is your twilight mind
There was a vampire on my porch
Took me to expensive dinners with desserts
Introduced me to his Mandelbrot collection
Told me why he loved maths while we got wasted
There was a vampire on my porch
I asked him about Life, Love, The Universe, Death
He shrugged his shoulders with a muppet expression
Took me to a sweaty club for dirty dancing
There was a vampire on my porch
Blowing out his cigarette smoke in the night air
I remember thinking why the hell is he even here?
But I still followed him up the stairs
There was a vampire on my porch
He said girl, you’re fine like priceless wine
I asked him if he meant my soul but he said no
He meant my mouth, my hair and my thies
There was a vampire on my porch
I said the tearoom is close, we’re nearly there
But we walked through miles through the forest
He smiled and said I got time, it’s summer
*
There was vampire on my porch
He took me to parks for iced coffee and reading
And to dark cinemas during the afternoon
He taught me some serious French kissing
There was a vampire on my porch
He said I’m taking you to London, Paris, Rome
And the whole world in its state of total chaos
In its edgy rawness shimmered a glimmer of hope
There was a vampire on my porch
He confessed he threw darts at someone’s head
Any more skeletons in the closet I should know of?
He looked at me guiltily
There was a vampire on my porch
His mother said he’s not autistic or highly gifted
We don’t use such nonsense around here
The cat was just the family member who really got him
There was a vampire on my porch
He once started a gentleman’s party society
They got horribly drunk in every city
And they thanked me for my rosebud tea
There was a vampire on my porch
For a lonesome soul he understood people really well
Giving the best imitations of their behavior
Laughter cracking my shell
There was a vampire on my porch
I watched him brew black coffee in the mornings
With one smooth sweep he took of his glasses
And kissed my face in bathtubs
There was a vampire on my porch
I walked straight into a state of solid bliss
Hiding in big arms and getting showered with kisses
We started bickering about recycling tea bags
There was a vampire on my porch
We sat on the stairs of the old restaurants
Reading books and kissing under the stars
Suddenly being alive felt like spinning a work of art
There was a vampire on my porch
He said I don’t talk to my classmates anymore
Actually he doesn’t like talking to people generally:
‘Kill me now I’m in a meeting about meetings’
*
There was a vampire on my porch
He took me to a park filled with old willows and oaks
We ate ice creams with chocolate and pistache
A soothing forest where he grew up
There was a vampire on my porch
We looked at his old Victorian house in the rain
A sense of sadness dwelled on him
The voices of his family still echoing
There was a vampire on my porch
He dissected all my sentences and lines
So many mistakes I couldn’t finish any story
Until I said I didn’t need a living grammarly
There was a vampire on my porch
He never deleted his online dating apps
My girlfriends found him there undead and well
So I slept in my old bed at my parents house
When I returned he was wearing black
On his knees begging me for forgiveness
He said other girls shared similar interests
But an invisible string pulled him back in
There was a vampire on my porch
Ping ponging witty responses with his father happily
Lounging on his couch with french cheese
I asked what gymnasium meant and they said naked gym
There was a vampire on my porch
I threw my water over his head when I was mad
He said I can’t believe how neatly you did that
You just sprinkled drops down my forehead
There was a vampire on my porch
With so much energy he exhausted me
Until I collapsed on the floor of a museum shop
He looked surprised and pulled me back up
There was a vampire on my porch
He always liked to walk around barefoot
Made a buddhistic turn with Alan Watts once
But never took philosophy too seriously
There was a vampire on my porch
Sundays with big books and English breakfasts
Sipping tea hanging out in old movie theaters
Holding my hand wherever we went
*
There was a vampire on my porch
We went for endless walks under the autumn trees
All those little talks while holding our coffee
His addiction to coconut cookies
There was a vampire on my porch
He kept sparking up my heart with his thoughts
And I wanted to be by his side
Though it would change my life forever if we kept it up
There was a vampire on my porch
Our epic fight was about induction cooking chemistry
With his upperclass air he walked out in stride
After I protected our pans and threw a towel at his head
There was a vampire on my porch
When I wanted to re-organize the bookshelf he panicked
If you ever colour code them it’s over he said
When I threw books out he secretly smuggled them back
There was a vampire on my porch
Lacing his fingers with my fingers
His hand over my hand and his feet over my feet
The ancient know-it-all KNEW EVERYTHING BETTER
There was a vampire on my porch
He didn’t like it when when I was gone too long
Started pacing up and down while waiting for me
My mother asked in Amy’ spirit, What Is It About Men?
There was a vampire on my porch
He asked are you having your apocalyptic dreams again?
Let’s watch some futuristic cyberbunk to calm you down
Let’s drive into your old hometown
There was a vampire on my porch
And to the bargaining there was nóôOó end
A strong will knocking me off my feet
But my skin got thicker and I started growing fangs
There was a vampire on my porch
When he saw my mosquito bites got really big
He slammed the suckers with his bare hands
Studied the mending scars after I cut the bites open
There was a vampire on my porch
The sound of his voice went straight to my head
At night I fell asleep drooling on his chest
And I never knew love could be solid like that
*
There was a vampire on my porch
Waking me up slow in this golden glow
Inhaling my hair and making me his own
Taking me out and taking me home
There was vampire on my porch
He became my best friend and favourite person
The gleam in his eyes on winter mornings
His hand behind his head while silently listening
There was a vampire on my porch
I wrote interviews, essays and plans for the housing market
Made extensive comparisons of living in different places
He said dear, we’re just going to have to wing it
There was a vampire on my porch
One afternoon he got down on one knee in Paris
He said girl, wanna get married? And I said OMG YES
I thought he ran for it but he got us cinnamon crêpes
There was a vampire on my porch
The night before our wedding we sat together
At an easy diner with vague window reflections
Laying low with coffee and it was perfect
There was a vampire on my porch
I didn’t speak to my girlfriends for weeks on end
Until I called them and ask them what happened
They said: ‘You might be a vampire too baby’
There was a vampire on my porch
We were with family members in his dark oak woods
And something my heart will always remember
Were everybody’s brilliant dance moves in September
There was a vampire on my porch
We’ll be facing wuthering heights and storms
Facing every hurricane that comes our way
Hopefully remaining side by side for decades
There was a vampire on my porch
I asked him what he was vamping for
Working at a bank and listening to the Goldberg varations
Always finding his way back to David Foster Wallace
He said: ‘Don’t know love, I’ve always been this way,
But I could love you and stay’
And I didn’t understand what was happening
My heart started glowing, my eyes illuminating,
As I had something to fight for I started shedding my old skin
Turning into an ancient romantic, it wasn’t such a bad thing
I never knew that love could be this light and strong
And I’m psyched whenever I see the ladies lunching
I want to bathe in this blossoming haze on the porch
Soak up the rays of the golden sun
Life’s good when you jump
With both feet in